Have You Ever Made a Football Helmet? Yeah, I Didn't Think So.

In case you wondered, here's how you make a helmet for a three-year-old boy who decides on his costume a grand total of 5 days before he needs to wear it.

And did you know that they don't make helmets for three-year-olds? You couldn't buy one if you wanted to. Even used. Trust me, I looked.

First order of business, enlist Dad's help and put him in charge of the project. :)

Blow up balloon to approximately the size of your son's head in preparation for papier mache. Have hubby bend a wire coat hanger in the shape of a face mask.

Bake helmet in oven to speed drying process. Y'know, like you used to do with your balsa-wood bridge for physics class when you didn't start it till the night before it was due. Yeah, you did it, too. 'Fess up, now.

Add navy blue spray paint, wrap face mask in white felt, and try on for fit. Watch as my boy finds his inner offensive lineman.

Add racing stripes in the colors of his "jersey." (Did you know that a proper jersey -- even in kids' sizes -- costs $45??? Ridiculous!!)

Happy boy finds his calling as a rough, tough linebacker for a team yet to be named. Recruiters take note. He'll be class of 2023...